


You Know What?

by Stripe_Conlon



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Gen, Not really though, Nothing Is New, five swearing, i was convinced janine was trying to kill me in s1, nb five, references to, s2 spoilers, s2m29, s2m32, s2m33, sam is incompetent, sam/five kinda, spoilers for mid-late s2, van ark is a dickhead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 21:42:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12308394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stripe_Conlon/pseuds/Stripe_Conlon
Summary: “You know what?”The runner’s voice is loud and clear in the comms shack. They shake their fist in the air.“This whole thing is an absolute. Pile. Of steaming. BULLSHIT!”S2Ep33 (Athena). Five has had enough.





	You Know What?

**Author's Note:**

> I played this mission today and it made me kinda indignant. Also I wrote this really quick so sorry. Also thanks to the tumblr zrtranscripts for the text at the start <3

**"Ow! Aw, bollocks!"**

**"What are you doing, Mr. Yao?"**

**"Oh, sorry. Sorry! I really want to get this jumper darned. I keep trying to get it all evenly done, but all the stitches never come out right."**

**"It’s only a jumper. You could stop constantly unpicking it and doing it again."**

**"Yeah, I know. All the runners are having their big feast tonight, and you should totally get back for that as quickly as you can, Five. But I just – oh, look, that darning’s not smooth either! I’ll have to pick it out and start again."**

**"Right… Run home, Five! Run like you’ve incurred the wrath of an immortal, because you know you have."**

* * *

 

Suddenly, Five stops. This is not a common occurrence, and Maxine notices the lack of movement immediately, switching the attention of the others from Eight and Twenty-two’s ongoing skirmish with raiders in the town centre.

“Sam, look at Camera Two-” she waves towards the screen. Five, who is typically a person of few words, is gesturing, yelling, jumping up and down-

“Turn up their mic, Mr. Yao.”

“I don’t normally have Runner Five’s mic on… I mean, they don’t say much, so… Uhhh, I think it’s, uh, this button?”

“You know what?” The runner’s voice is loud and clear in the comms shack. They shake their fist in the air. “This whole thing is an absolute. Pile. Of steaming. BULLSHIT!”

“Runner Five! What’s the matter? There are no zoms in the-”

Their voice rises to what can only be described as a shriek. “Despite this being a so-called _easy_  run, I have been running for almost six hours straight already, one of those whilst tied to the back of our unkillable enemy’s jeep as he went at I-don’t-know-how-many miles an hour, I’ve been dragged through zombies and nettles and gravel and have a stitch eating up my side. I’m covered in blood, sweat and tears with no back up in the middle of fucking nowhere, carrying vials vital to the future of the human race which the doctor’s lover sacrificed herself for, and you, you, Sam. You’re fucking _knitting_. Do you… do you even give a crap?”

Sam sounds hurt. “I’m darning _your_ jumper. I thought you-”

“Yes, _my_ jumper, which got torn last week when you led us through a fucking zoo with live _lions_ in it because you are terrible at your job and I'm beginning to think it's not Janine trying to get me killed, its _you_!”

“Runner Five,” Janine cuts in crisply. “I appreciate your frustration, but you are currently being pursued by said immortal enemy and are attracting every zombie in the surrounding area. Could we have this… conversation about Sam’s incompetence after you get back to Abel?

A pause. Tears trail through the dust on Five’s cheeks. Finally, there’s a muffled, “Yes, ma’am.”

They start running again.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm aware Five has had some other difficult runs, but they're really alone on this one...


End file.
